Oh. Claudius laughs, and his voice breaks, as he realizes that's what he's afraid to lose. These people who make it worth getting out of bed for every day. "I've never had so many people I love in one place. Isn't that ridiculous? I tried very hard to stay ahead of that sort of thing. Whenever I suspected I'd grown too attached to someone, I'd go to a different country. Even Gertrude and I ... I kept praying for years not to be in love with her, going on diplomatic missions and hoping my heart would cool, before I realized God and politics weren't going to help with that one." He rubs at his face, aware when his eyes start to itch. "But still, I was able to outpace so many impossible love affairs. Someone like Galahad ... I would've known it was impossible. I wasn't going to marry some sweet young knight I flirted with at a guesthouse, so I would've broken things off before anyone got his heart broken. This is the only place something like that is possible. Where Laertes's marriage to Sagramore is possible, or where Aziraphale and Crowley can simply exist. Do you realize how important it is to me?""